After I started to work, I got to know a group of friends who were gamblers. Initially, I gambled as a recreation but, eventually, I became a compulsive gambler and sought to satisfy my urge for gambling by visiting the casino. I even borrowed funds to gamble. I gambled during office hours and visited the casino after office hours for more gambling. At that time, gambling became the main thing in my life. As my wagers increased, so did my gambling debts and I reached a point where I could not extricate myself. At that juncture of my life, I was like the living dead: I could not see the meaning of life. To solve my problems I try many ways sought help through idol worship. However, I received no help nor did I see any light or hope in my life.
I also consulted fortune-tellers. One of them predicted that I would have two wives in this life. I believed him and boldly started an extramarital affair with another woman. I did not fulfil my responsibility as a husband and father to care for my family. My wife was very hurt and disappointed by my behaviour. I promised her time and again that I would turn over a new leaf. However, I never kept my word to her and this resulted in her loss of all hope in me. I had wanted to change to be a better husband and father but I failed in my actions over and over again. I felt worthless and powerless.
... gambling become the main thing in my life ... I also consulted fortune-tellers ...
... my wife left me and our children ...
One day my wife left me and our three children behind. She instructed a lawyer to initiate proceedings for our divorce. When this happened, I was very depressed. Consequently, I refused to meet people and I kept silent. I felt empty and lost all hope in life. I became very bad tempered and took my frustration out on my children. All of them were very fearful of my behaviour and they started to avoid me.
At this time of my life, a friend who knew of my problem began to evangelise to me. He introduced Jesus to my empty life and he brought me to church. In one of the church gatherings, I surrendered myself to God. I asked Jesus to be my saviour. I asked for His forgiveness and I requested God to deliver me from my bad habits. After all the prayers said for me, I felt amazingly peaceful in my heart. Besides being troubled by my family problems, I also faced difficulties in my business which became heavily burdened by debt. I had no choice but to close my business. From being an employer I became an employee. This blow caused me deep pain. Just at that time I listened to a cassette with the following message ?Are you afraid of your future? Jesus says: I am here. The path which you are traveling on is one which I have already been through!? I felt comforted by that message. Since Jesus would be with me when I go through the path of my life, what was there to fear? God was really gracious to me. I found a job and, very soon, I paid off all my debts.
By the power and strength of Jesus ...
... He rebuilt my broken family ...
By the power and strength of Jesus, I was able to stop my smoking habit. With regard to my gambling habit and extramarital affair, the process of eradicating these sins was not easy. During the early stage of my Christian life, I did not give up my gambling habit. I continued to gamble and would feel very guilty and bad about it afterwards. I remember that once when I was on my way home after a gambling session the Holy Spirit rebuked me and I felt guilty and sad about my behaviour. As I recalled God?s blessings upon me where He helped me pay off all of my gambling debts, I asked myself why was I so weak and useless? I felt remorseful. I quickly repented before God and asked Him to forgive my sin. That was the last time I ever gambled. Since then I have never gambled nor have I felt the urge to gamble.
I grew up in an environment of Chinese traditions and culture and so was not very committed to family and marriage. For a Chinese it is quite normal to have more than one wife. After I became a Christian and from the teaching of the Bible, I learnt that a man must not commit adultery and should be faithful to his wife.
I learnt to obey the word of God. The way in which I spoke and behaved gradually changed. Then my wife returned to me. She had been observing me and when she eventually saw the changes in me , she accepted me once more.
Today, I have been reborn as a person; a person who has gained a new life. Without Jesus, I would surely have suffered a tragic life; a life without a future, a life without hope. I am grateful and thankful to God for His mercy and love. He brought my wife back to me and He rebuilt my broken family. He brought me from darkness into light. He turned my destitution into abundance and my loss to substance. All these are due to God. All that I have today came from God?s grace and blessings.
By Fook Tin